Happy Face
- Feb 20
- 2 min read
1.
A guy I knew—
somewhat but not well
he was a familiar face
I’d see from time to time
but that’s all he was
I heard he had just
shot himself in the face
three days ago
My best friend
was like a brother
is dead too
Fentanyl overdose
by accident though
I found out they’re lacing
the shit in cocaine now too
It wasn’t a surprise
Last I spoke to him was
a year prior he confided
in me he was smoking meth
because he drove a truck
In fact
a lot of truck drivers do that
That is not something
I wanted to know
2.
This afternoon I stood
in the bathroom stark naked
pale like a horse
staring at myself
in the mirror
I was wet from my shower
Tired from lack of sleep
Crazed and hungry
Thinking of a song lyric
“All the world cannot be wrong
It must be me I don’t belong”
“Did he jump?
Or was he pushed?”
I stood there thinking
about another guy, who said
this guy who had shot himself
in the face wouldn’t want
us to be sad and mope about it
No one wants that
after they die
Later I yelled to the guy
“Speak for yourself
I do want people to be sad
after I die”
3.
I looked around the room
saw the tears in people eyes
realizing I spoke too loudly
It was only a joke
I once wrote:
SUICIDE IS NEVER
A SOLUTION
UNLESS OF COURSE
YOU’RE REALLY
REALLY DEPRESSED
I lost an interesting friend
for saying this
He kept attacking me via Facebook
Had to block him
A year later someone contacted me
said it was him
This was important he said
“Unblock me”
I did he tore into me again
I asked what his problem was
He told me you don’t joke
about suicide
I told him I wasn’t joking
I believe that to be true
Sometimes the end
feels like the only relief
This didn’t go over
so well
4.
It’s nighttime
I’m lying in bed
This morning I woke up
feeling very depressed
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day
So as not to wait till
the flowers are sold out
I bought Michelle three bouquets
and a card too
Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day
Do you know what that means?
Gotta put on my happy face
Comments